19 Apr '15

No more metal in my lullabyy yes! My mind's still a bit cluttered but my room isn't that much anymore ahaha. God is enough motivation, man. And this Godly motivation I gained from His word, His work, His people.. And I'm so done with high school woohoo. And the conflict I was in? It is done :) When someone asks me if I'm okay, I now know how to answer. "Well, there are so many things I'm sad about but man, I got joy." And now that I'm no longer questioning but instead, seeking answers, I find them. Praise God! I love you with His love, people

18 March '15

.Took a day off from school because of heavy flow hehe
.Edited blog :D
.Became friends with God-seeking people
.Watched a lot of great videos
.Got tempted to change course but held on
.Cleaned bedroom halfway
.Rested
.Sinned less for God and because of God

Peace is not about what's going on. Yep, I need to be reminded of that. Peace is when we're in God's arms.. It becomes so peaceful that the noise around us simply sounds like a lullaby. Sigh. Well, right now I can still hear some metal in the lullaby. I need more faith. And sometimes that lullaby leads to distraction and I can't let go because the singer needs a listener. My mind's so cluttered, and dude does my room reflect that. Hahaha. I'd say I lack motivation but isn't God more than enough motivation? And you know, school wouldn't be such a bad place if we didn't have that kind of mindset. And I wouldn't even worry about school work if there wasn't such a thing as "group work". It has a heavy sense of obligation linked to it that's so suffocating. Also, I don't know how to solve this conflict I'm in. It's so easy to untangle myself from that but then I'd be an apathetic selfish person. And that's just not right and not God-glorifying. That is why I'm so thankful for God's fingerprints He left in the beautiful sunsets and sunrises. No matter how bad of a day it's been, when you see God's pretty paintings, it gives you a sense of comfort. Comfort to know that there are still more good than bad because of God. Ergh.. When someone asks me if I'm okay, I honestly don't know how to answer because I really am okay any day because of God. But then at some point, I kinda am not because of circumstances. So.. Hmm. I don't know what to do with this person. He gotta know there's more to life than what he grew accustomed to. Oh why am I so melodramatic? My time of the month might be coming. I always get like this a day or two before that. Haha. Sorry if this is too much info. But seriously, that feeling we get when we just wanna shut the world out but we can't because we shouldn't. It'd be better someday. When we get there.